Personal Life Issues

Linda Wants Her Traits To Work For Her And Asks How?

Dr. Dale Archer — Fri, 31 May 2013 06:00:00 GMT

Linda is divorced and works part time. She hates her job and is trying to find something else, but so far no luck. She's creative, but thinks people view her as weird and ugly. She wants to put her creativity to work for her, but how? She doesn't like to deal with people because she thinks they don't like the way she looks. I give her my thoughts; what are yours?

Lisa Questions Her Traits And Addiction

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 23 May 2013 06:00:00 GMT

Lisa grew up in a dysfunctional home where mom and dad hated each other, and they only shared one meal each year, where mom would just about throw the turkey at dad. She has an adventurous spirt, hence her job as an international flight attendant. She wonders if she's an alcoholic, wonders why she's a multitasker, why she prefers younger men and why her life is so disorganized. She wonders if she needs to return to AA, return to basics or just slow her life down. Thoughts?

Bob Is Alienating His Friends And Doesn't Know Why

Dr. Dale Archer — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 06:00:00 GMT

Bob is a 79 year old man in good health. Suddenly, he is being asked to resign from many of his social groups that he has belonged to, some for years! Without giving particulars, he asks what could be wrong, what's he doing to alienate all these people. Many people have what I call a blind spot, where they don't see themselves for who they really are. How can he correct this?

Michelle Needs To Fall In Love

Dr. Dale Archer — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 06:00:00 GMT

Michelle is a 34 year old plus-sized woman who has a strong faith in God but is lonely. She never dated in high school or college, but didn't worry about it because she was too busy. Now she'd wants deperately to fall in love and have a family.

Jan Gives An Important Lesson Regarding Forgiveness

Dr. Dale Archer — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Jan wrote to me a year ago regarding unresolved trust issues due to a childhood incident. During the past year, she has learned a priceless lesson on the value and importance of forgiveness -- not for the perpetrator, but for herself.

Jennifer's Insurance Won't Pay For Her Eating Disorders

Dr. Dale Archer — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Jennifer is 43 and has had an eating disorder since she was 14. She lost 220 pounds, but now suffers from bulimia and anorexia. Restricting herself to 600 calories a day, she binges and purges everything she eats. She takes more than 30 laxatives a day, water pills daily, speed walks daily for six miles and rides her bike for miles, as well. During all of this, all she can think of is food, food, food. Her doctor says she needs inpatient care, but her insurance refuses to pay.

Des Hates Her Small Breasts

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 02:00:00 GMT

Des is 26, 5' 9" and much taller than her mom and sisters. Her small breasts do not fit her frame, and she finds it a challenge to find bras that fit her correctly. It has caused a self-esteem problem, especially since a childhood illness caused her to be big boned and delay puberty until age 17. She asks what can she do to accept herself the way she is?

Patricia Tries To Be Like The Popular Girls

Dr. Dale Archer — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Patricia wants to be like the popular girls. She imitates the way they talk, dress, fix their hair, and yet feels people still don't like her. She is married, but is not sure if she's really happy. Life is passing her by, and asks how she can make friends and ultimately, be happy....and popular.

Safae Feels Her Life Is Over At 19

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 14:00:00 GMT

Safae is 19 and miserable. She's not as pretty as her sister or her cousin, and has never been on a trip. She spends her days in her room with her laptop, seeking others. She had an online relationship, but all the guy wanted to do was make love over the Internet. She asks for our advice.

Joshua Has No Confidence

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Joshua isn't as confident as he'd like to be. He can't speak in front of large groups without feeling nervous. He met a woman online, but she wants her space. He wonders if he should play sports again and wonders if he should transfer to another school. He just isn't sure of anything. Thoughts?

Taz Can't Stop Talking

Dr. Dale Archer — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Taz talks too much, but can't seem to stop. Not wanting to lose his friends, he asks how he can stop himself from talking too much. Do you know someone who talks incessantly? What would you tell them?

Julie Has Trouble Setting Boundaries

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 06:00:20 GMT

Julie survived a rough, abusive childhood and was married 13 years before filing for divorce. She finds herself too trusting of the wrong people, so isn't ready to engage in another relationship any time soon. She shares her story, and wonders if she can ever trust again in the right way. What do you think, can trust be shattered forever and never recover?

HT Wonders If His Stomach Problems Are Due To Drug Use

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 06:00:21 GMT

HT started experimenting with drugs when he was 16 and into college. He then started experiencing stomach problems, so he quit eating. He became very thin, quit the drugs, but the stomach problems still persists. He asks what he can do to turn his life around. Ideas?

Cotye Is Ridiculed By Co-Workers And Family

Dr. Dale Archer — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 06:00:49 GMT

Cotye's father was arrested for murder and possession when he was 12, and had to grow up fast to help the family survive. He has always been ridiculed, and it continues to this day, from both co-workers and family. He wonders if this is what his life has to be, or if he can turn things around. Thoughts?

Nazia Is Losing Her Self Confidence

Dr. Dale Archer — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 06:05:10 GMT

Nazia is losing her self confidence with each day that passes. She used to be self assured, but no more. How can she get her confidence back?

George Was Gang Raped And Now Suffers Nightmares

Dr. Dale Archer — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 06:00:04 GMT

George was in the Army in 1967 when he was gang raped by other soldiers. He was going to be subjected to this on a regular basis until he made a deal with his sergeant that he would be his alone, so he wouldn't have to suffer being attacked by many other men. Now, years later, he is having bad dreams and nightmares of being raped. He is seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist and is on many medications, but nothing has helped. What can he do to get his life back?

Jean Feels So Old At Age 56

Dr. Dale Archer — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Jean has been with the same man for 30 years. Together they live with his 91 year old mom who suffers from dementia. Neither work, and they all live on his mom's meager retirement checks. She has come to hate her man who is also an alcoholic, and for the last 3 years they've slept in separate rooms. She's 56, and feels angry, old, dried up and used. What can she do?

Diana Is Compared To Her "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader" Beautiful Sister

Dr. Dale Archer — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 18:00:13 GMT

"Of two sisters, one is always the watcher, one the dancer", Louise Gluck. Diana is 30; her sister is 34 and she looks like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. All her life she has been in the shadow of her sister who is sooooo much prettier. Despite her academic or personal successes, her looks are always a joke within her family, and even her sister taunts her. She's smart, successful and talented - just not so pretty. She wants to be as pretty as sis and keep up with sis, but knows this is being shallow, but can't help it. Facelift, body sculpting, liposuction - what's the answer here?

Phil Cannot Look Others In The Eye

Dr. Dale Archer — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 18:00:26 GMT

Phil is a bartender with a big problem. He finds he can no longer look his customers in the eye! He has become self-conscious about this, and obsesses about it every day. Now he's diverting his eyes, feels shifty and wants to be able to look his customers in the eye again and just talk normally. He asks what's wrong, and how can he overcome this?

JJK Says He's Just Too Super Hot And Sexy

Dr. Dale Archer — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 06:00:21 GMT

JJK, a 26 year old international model, says he's super hot and sexy. He asks if he should take up the offer of older women who want to set him up in style. He has a hard life, folks. Every girl who meets him wants to hook up, and people just don't realize how difficult it is to be a gorgeous guy. He asks for advice. Let's hear yours.

Teena Wants Someone To Support Her In Style

Dr. Dale Archer — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 06:00:19 GMT

Teena is now out of school. Her mother has always preferred her older brother, and finds fault with her. She's always ready to fight with mom when she thinks she's being unfair. Her boyfriend broke up because he felt inferior because of her extreme beauty and she feels sorry for him that he'll never have another beauty like her. She's looking for a job, but really wants a guy to support her in high style. After all, she put up with everyone and everything for a long time -- AND she's beautiful and deserves nothing less than the best. What would you tell her?

Kriti Has Lost Herself

Dr. Dale Archer — Sun, 13 May 2012 06:00:00 GMT

Kriti was engaged to someone she didn't love. Devastated, she kept to herself. She then dated someone else because she was tired of being a hermit, but he married someone else. She lost her two best friends because of the lies she told them, and now she has lost her whole sense of self. She doesn't know who she is or what she stands for anymore. Do you have words of advice for her?

Nicole Is Miserable Because She Doesn't Want To Be Shy

Dr. Dale Archer — Fri, 11 May 2012 22:00:19 GMT

Nicole is a 20 year old college student who is shy. At home she imagines herself being outgoing and having a passion for life and ambitious. In reality, her shyness is holding her back. She's getting tired of pretending to be happy, and asks what she can do to overcome both, her shyness and her perfectionism. What would you advise her?

Daniel Fears He Will Never Have A Relationship

Dr. Dale Archer — Tue, 08 May 2012 22:00:50 GMT

Daniel is a 32 year old man with major self esteem issues. He suffered from depression but overcame that. He admits he's a virgin, and fears he will never have a relationship because of his fantasies about wanting to be with a dominating woman who abuses and humiliates him. And he gets panic attacks just thinking of being naked in front of someone. What words of encouragement would you offer this man?

Faisal's Staff Doesn't Respect Him

Dr. Dale Archer — Sun, 06 May 2012 14:03:02 GMT

Faisal is an Engineer graduate with a good job, but he lacks self confidence and his staff doesn't respect him. They play with him and enjoy his weaknesses and he's at a breaking point. He's having chest pains, shoulder pains, diarrhea and stomach pains. He went to a cardiologist who prescribed herbal supplements, but things have simply gotten worse. He asks what he should do. Thoughts?