Dear Dr. Archer,
I am an Engineer graduate, and am working as a government officer. I have a good job with little duty, but due to past bad experiences, I lack self confidence and cannot prove myself to be an officer. I can't command and control my staff; they just play with me and enjoy my weaknesses.
Secondly, I feel depressed and anxious, and suffer from heart, shoulder and back pain. I have constant diarrhea and stomach pains. I cannot face my problems but rather try to escape them. If anything goes wrong or against me, my conditions worsen both physically and mentally.
Last month I went to a cardiologist because I had severe chest pain, but after the examination he said I didn't have a heart problem. He prescribed Liberex Brand medications and Alenol. I used these, but my condition simply became worse.
Now I want to cry and shout loudly, but I don't know the reason why. Please help me. Waiting for your kind, psychological advice.
Faisal
Dear Faisal,
Liberex is not a prescription, but a natural supplement which is designed to help support liver function. It's main ingredient is shiitake mushrooms, as well as milk thistle and dandelion root.
Alenol is also a supplement, not a prescription, consisting mostly of Aloe Vera and grape seed extract. It is touted as being able to stimulate all 75,000 miles of blood vessels found in the human body. Sound ridiculous? Yes, it does to me as well.
You need to stop taking these supplements, Faisal, because they're doing more harm than good. You have a few issues, so we'll take them one at a time.
First, to lead others in the most effective manner, you've got to have self confidence, which you admit you lack. You need to have a vision of what you want to accomplish and convey that to your staff!
Depression and anxiety could be the result of a chemical imbalance within your brain, but the only way to find out for sure would be for you to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. So schedule an appointment now.
Your heart, shoulder and back pain, as well as the diarrhea and stomach pain, could ALL be stress related. Stress can cause major physical problems, so you need to be evaluated.
If you cannot command the respect of your staff, Faisal, they will walk all over you. Being in a leadership position comes with great responsibility. If an employee’s continue to have fun with you and enjoy your weakness, then clearly you must either take control of the situation or find another job which is more suited to you and your talents.
I suspect that you may prefer being in a job that is more about working alone as opposed to managing people. The key is for you to figure out what makes you happiest and then to go for it.
So, if you want to remain in your position, those who ridicule you must be put on notice that if the harassment continues they risk demotion or termination. Period. Speak up and set the tone going forward.
This type of behavior has no place in the workforce, as it's childish and counter-productive. You will need to get tough to do this and again I’m not sure if this is your personality type so put some thought into it. You cannot continue like this without changes, because something's going to give.
But first, find a psychiatrist and get an evaluation, then take it from there. I sincerely wish you much success at whatever you decide. Good luck.
Dr. Archer
