Dear Dr. Archer,
I am a 21 year old student, and was impregnated by a guy whom I dearly loved. However, when he found out about the pregnancy, he dumped me because I refused to get an abortion.
I suffered for nine months until I gave birth; my boy is now five months old, but the guy does not look after or provide for the baby at all. I don't have any parents providing for me and I don't know what to do.
I have to study at the same time I'm supposed to be looking after the baby. I don't have a job and I truly need your help.
I'm on facebook; please try to help me. I need some psychological help.
First understand that due to legal liability I can only answer questions here on the website, not on Facebook.
Your parents are under absolutely no obligations to help you raise or provide for a child that you chose to have. It’s unfortunate that they don’t want to take a part in their grandchild’s life, and they will probably regret it later, but it is what it is. However, it’s entirely different for the father.
Go to your local public legal aid center and file the necessary paperwork to ensure you start receiving child support. The father will be required BY LAW to provide for the child until 18 years of age. If he doesn’t he can be thrown in jail. Do this, Kims, because your baby should not have to suffer. No one wants to see a child go without, so do this NOW.
In addition, visit Financial Help For Single Moms
online. The government offers several grants to moms for living expenses as well as school. A mother and child living in poverty is not good for anyone. There are resources, and it's up to you to find them.
Also, take advantage of any help that your campus provides for single moms. However, the first course of action you need to take is to make sure you receive child support. That should be your Priority Number One.
Above all, Kims, remember that through all of this turmoil in your life, your baby is the innocent. He did not ask for this, and he deserves to be taken care of.
Finally think of this as a valuable life lesson. Remember that everything we do has consequences; taking care of those responsibilities is part of being an adult. Good luck to both you and your baby.